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JOSH'S  TOP  3 

LET ME JUST SAY THAT NOTHING IN LIFE CAN PREPARE YOU FOR MARRIAGE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU GREW UP AS AN ONLY CHILD AND HAD TO JOIN THE ARMY TO GET SOME DISCIPLINE. ADD IN A WIFE THAT IS SUPER DRIVEN AND FOCUSED AND IT CAUSED A LOT OF ISSUES!

I LOOK BACK AND THINK ABOUT HOW I THOUGHT THINGS WORKED VERSUS HOW THEY ACTUALLY WORK 10 YEARS IN...

1. THE PERSON YOU MARRY IS NOT THE PERSON YOU END UP WITH. I THINK THIS CONFUSES PEOPLE SOMETIMES. I HEAR PEOPLE WHO ARE SPLITTING UP SAY THINGS LIKE "HE/SHE IS JUST NOT THE PERSON I MARRIED," BUT YOU SHOULDN'T BE. IF YOU'RE STILL THE SAME PERSON YOU WERE IN YEAR ONE, YOU HAVEN'T MATURED AT ALL.

2. LIKE I SAID, I'M AN ONLY CHILD. I HAVE NEVER SHARED ANYTHING WITH ANYONE IN MY WHOLE LIFE. PAIGE GREW UP WITH A SISTER THAT SHE SHARED EVERYTHING WITH. I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT ACTING LIKE I COULD SPEND MONEY OR MY TIME HOWEVER I WANTED WAS NOT THE WAY TO BE A GOOD TEAMMATE. I HAD EQUAL RESPONSIBILITY IN CHORES, MONEY, AND PARENTING, BUT I HAD TO START PAYING ATTENTION.

3. BEING IN THE ARMY, PAIGE AND I SPENT A LOT OF TIME APART BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED. I THOUGHT THE DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WAS THE HARD PART AND ONCE WE GOT TOGETHER IT WOULD ALL BE SMOOTH SAILING. I WAS SURPRISED THAT EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW EACH OTHER AS PARENTS, ROOMMATES, SPOUSES, AND FRIENDS IT STILL TAKES A LOT OF WORK TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP A GOOD ONE. DISTANCE WAS HARD, BUT THERE WAS A VERY LOW EXPECTATION ON BOTH PEOPLE. YOU JUST CAN'T MEET EACH OTHERE'S NEEDS LIKE YOU WANT TO. BUT WHEN YOU GET IN EACH OTHER'S SPACE, THERE IS A LOT TO FIGURE OUT. IT DOESN'T COME NATURALLY TO ANYONE BECAUSE ALL HUMANS ARE SELFISH. I HAVE JUST DECIDED THAT I'M GOING TO LET HER KEEP SURPRISING ME.